“A ‘written mirror’? What could that possibly be?”
Well, I’m glad you’ve asked. Let me explain, but I’ll need to start at the beginning.
This summer I’ve had the good fortune to call my girlfriend’s childhood home a temporary living space, as I work to complete an internship I must complete in order to graduate college in the spring of 2017. We have been dating for nearly sixteen long, and arduous, months (Seriously folks, it feels like a lifetime), and during that time, it’s been rare that we’re apart for extended periods of time. Tomorrow morning, she leaves for about a month on a team that will travel to exotic destinations like Utah and California (If you couldn’t tell, I wrote that to be dripping with sarcasm). This is where an explanation (starts to ) come into play.
I am an extrovert. I crave company, and I desire closeness. However, this afternoon has been a tidal wave of emotion in the wake of a realization that I am going to be without my greatest companion for (approximately) the next twenty-eight days. And that is when I realized how my extroversion has become an addiction.
I (basically) had an emotional breakdown upon realizing that for the next month I’d be on my own, and completely terrified of having to take care of myself without the person who I’m most connected to. In my defense, I am capable of independence, but the fact is that this summer is the closest she and I have gotten to actually living together. We’re completely in separate rooms, and her family has been here as well for the duration of our stay. No boundaries have been crossed, it’s just that we’ve been spending almost every moment together and thus, her company has developed into something that I’ve become completely dependent on. I also have to mention that my one greatest fear is being alone.
“My Written Mirror” is how I am intending to overcome that which I’ve discovered has taken a significant hold on my life. “My Written Mirror” has been birthed by a sudden realization that I don’t take enough time to explore my thoughts. My mental processes fire at a mile a minute, and I only explore the ones that interest me (anything involving fantasy, the supernatural, superpowers, and animal life [preferably the cute ones]), completely disregarding the political, the emotional, and the social.
Introspection is the exact opposite of gifts I possess. My train of thought passes over any tunnels that lead that exact train any deeper, but I refuse to continue along that same track any longer (if I can help it). “My Written Mirror” is this blog which will allow me to dive deeper and explore the recesses of my own mind, and will also be published for others (like YOU) to enjoy. I normally despise writing from the deepest depths of my heart, but with no due date attached to my own personal blog, I’m actually enjoying this. This personal record of my own thoughts I am using to examine my mind, I’ve decided to try and be artistic a little bit (hehe), and call this outlet exactly what it is: documented reflections. It is exactly a “Written Mirror”. You will see my thoughts, and I simply ask for understanding, respect, and (if you feel the need) comments and responses.
So, to wrap up this maiden voyage of a written masterpiece, I was taught to restate what you’ve already said in the conclusion, but to still make it interesting and clarify if you can. With my girlfriend leaving tomorrow, I’m feeling overwhelmed at the realization of the spending so much time in her home town without her. I have to cook for myself, keep myself responsible, and try and match my own outfits. I have to grow beyond my reliance on her, and try to build on my relationship with God. And might I say, her family is still going to be here with me, which just exemplifies how irrational this dependence is. My fear of being alone shall no longer have power over me. Hopefully.